Catch Him If You Can

Often the best, most entertaining stories in The New York Times are the local ones, like the story today about the fugitive "folk hero" from Cassadaga:

Ralph Phillips was a 43-year-old car thief and a burglar with a record as long as his dark ponytail — and, it turned out, a little pluck, too, which everyone missed until the day he ended up in a jailhouse kitchen with a can opener and no one looking.

He was serving 90 days for a parole violation. After he escaped from the Erie County Correctional Facility near Buffalo, prying a hole in the ceiling with that opener, people in Chautauqua County, in the southwest corner of the state, just shrugged. Until it was disclosed that Bucky, as he is known around here where he grew up, had only had four days left until his release, and then they laughed.

But something else unexpected has happened: No one can find Bucky Phillips. [. . .]

Mr. Phillips is a Seneca Indian, and a dash of Native American mysticism has inspired some supporters.

“They say that some shamans can actually change shape,” said Joanne Wiles, 48, a former postal worker now on disability. “As crazy as it sounds, to me it’s the only reason he could keep getting out. He changes shapes. I don’t know how. He could become a bird, or a squirrel.”

I love that idea, but you know, if he could become a bird, why didn't he just fly out of jail a long time ago? He could have even flown to his grandchild's birth--the reputed reason for his escape--and then flown back to serve the rest of his sentence.

I'm just sayin'.