So where the hell . . .

. . . have I been, you ask? Well let me tell ya!

Thing One was the new "rock" band I'm fronting, Det Leffard. Big thanks to all of you who have come out to see us play the clubs around Trenton and elsewhere in the tri-state. The songs you've heard are forming our first, real-live Studio Demo, which is taking way longer than we thought it would to complete, seeing as we're totally broke.

People keep saying we should get a MySpace page, but everytime I visit pages on that site--regardless of how cool the person is--I can't help but get overwhelmed by the whole "THANKS FOR THE ADD!!!" vibe they've got going. Something about it seems dangerously close to high-school-type popularity contests--like who's signing whose yearbook. Who the fuck has time for that shit?

Thing Two was a little case of food poisoning or norovirus (take your pick; they seem to be the same, according to WebMD). Word to the wise: If you're getting a bad feeling about the restaurant you've just entered, turn the fuck around and leave right away. Don't stay just because they have a great lunch deal, and the place looks busy, and you've eaten in restaurants way weirder than this anyway so it's probably fine. Just leave. And if you want a reason why, I'd be happy to share with you details of the hellish few days I've just spent. A personal highlight: No real distinction between the substances bursting out of my mouth and anus.

So enough about me. How are you?