"Rocked Me to My Core"

And how.

Steer clear of the Westchester County Libraries; they've got at least one librarian with a serious empathy problem:

Even the dead apparently have to pay the fines on their overdue books at one Westchester County library. Elizabeth Schaper said she was charged a 50-cent late fee while turning in a book that her late mother had checked out of a Harrison Public Library branch.

"I was in shock," Schaper said. "This has rocked me to my core."

Schaper's mother, Ethel Schaper, died at the age of 87 on Sept. 16 after suffering a massive stroke. A few days later, Schaper said she found a library book, "The Price of Silence," by Camilla Trinchieri, that her mother had checked out from the library.

"My mother was an avid reader _ she read an average of two books a week," Schaper said. "She was a frequent patron of the library."

Schaper said she returned the book last week, and was stunned when the man behind the library counter told her of the 50-cent fee.

"I told him that maybe he didn't hear me right, that my mother had just died, otherwise I'm sure that she would have returned it on time," Schaper said. "His only reply was that, 'That will be 50 cents.'"

"I mean, you've got the 50 cents, right? Surely you inherited some money when the old broad kicked it? Huh?"

Great service.

A Close Shave

Look, I'll be honest with you. It's hard for me to focus on the finer points of this AP article about eating locally grown food. I think the reason for my confusion is the first paragraph of the piece:

Dick Shave got a duck for dinner. It was firm, fresh and - this is very important when you're only eating food grown within 100 miles - raised nearby.

Hang on here; just one second, please.

What was it that was firm, fresh, and raised nearby?

Oh, right.

Ahem. But seriously. If your name was Richard Shave, would you go by Dick?